noregrets

well, got back out of bed to post this before i forget where in the mists of my convoluted mind, i leave these thoughts behind.

no regrets, no, i really don’t think i have to many, if any at all.  i will never regret the loves of my live, my four wonderful sons.  or the happiness each of their partners, adds to this family, now so very large.  the wonderful grandchildren.  what more can i say?  regret?  what would i have to regret.  i am warm tonight despite temps of 6 degrees.  i am not hungry.  i have power.  electric, and mental.  i have good companions, wonderful animals, many many books, and what is left of my garden.

how can anyone have regrets?  we are so very lucky. so very blessed.  i am going though a heartbreaking divorce, for the second time in my life.  i am having severe financial problems, my legs are gone, knees are 90, have had nothing to smile about in so long, i have to invent good things in my mind to keep on going.  regrets?  no, i believe everything happens to us in the universe for some significant reason, and we are not always able to see the reason.  someday, i will.  someday, i hope you will too.  then, perhaps i can remember and smile, and not remember and cry.  there is a plan, somewhere, for each and everyone of us.  just finding the key to reading your plan.  that is the key to the universe.  self understanding, self awareness, and self respect.  i pray i am never self righteous.  being perfect has so many draw backs.  i stay away from any semblance of understanding what i am trying to impart to you.  who ever you are.  i am grateful for life, and all of the challenges it has given me.  merry Christmas, Diana

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